“JESUS FUCK.” Is what I said while sitting in my son’s crib tonight reading to him. Dan came in and out of the room for various reasons no fewer than eight times and this was right after a nightlight incident in the other kid’s room and I couldn’t take it. I was reading Car Car… Continue reading Car Car, Truck Jeep

Not False or Copied; Genuine, Real Well, I’ve challenged myself to be more authentic so how about some excerpts from my actual journal? It probably doesn’t get more genuine than that. It’s barely edited. Like a tiny bit. Written recently: I’ve been thinking a lot about my recent depression (I’m not going to therapy anymore… Continue reading Authenticity

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m feeling pretty good, and buzzed. I’ve really enjoyed drinking again and look forward to cutting back and getting healthy once more in the New Year. I had some health issues and sicknesses after giving birth, including developing a cough so bad I am 98% sure I bruised a rib. … Continue reading It’s the Final Countdown

I had a threesome with the guy I lost my virginity to. Not until years later, though. We dated when I was fourteen and fifteen. I think what I liked about him was that he asked me out. I had absolutely no self esteem and would take what I could get.  He had what my… Continue reading Moms & Babies – and the Dads Who are Out Getting High

Morning, Part One: Nighttime A day in the life of me on maternity leave with a newborn sort of starts at night, since that time frame so seamlessly melts into day. These days. I was “on duty” with the baby last night. She and I slept from 10pm to 2am. Woke up for feeding and… Continue reading A Day in the Life

The Last Days of the Last Nine Months A calamity of things seemed to go wrong in the days leading up to the birth of Baby #2. Two of them involve urine. I put my keys on top of my car while getting Theo in the car seat. Dan came out to drive us, with… Continue reading Newborn…Purgatory?

I Made It. Sort Of. I haven’t written in months because I was going through an emotional breakdown from July 20th to August 25th. Yes, I know the exact dates. It literally felt like I fell in a hole. I broke down and told my doctors how I was feeling and I ended up getting… Continue reading No Weed: Day 200

When Life Gets You Down, You Know What You Have to Do? Theo is squeamish about the water. Last summer my parents put out a kiddie pool for him where he proceeded to play with the water – while sitting outside of the pool, on the grass. On Sunday we were at a family social… Continue reading No Weed: Day 134

Kids: You Can Talk to Them, Sometimes Before I had my own kid I was always a “kid person.” Frequently babysat my friends’ kids. Worked with kids for awhile. At parties, I would find the kids, and color with them or hang out with them instead of the adults. I haven’t so much been that… Continue reading No Weed: Day 124

Virus Bullet Dodged I dodged a bullet with Theo last week. A kid at his daycare was diagnosed with a serious virus and the next day Theo had a fever and was throwing up. Dan was set to be out of town for a bachelor party starting Friday morning through Sunday afternoon. I tried to… Continue reading No Weed, Day 118