“JESUS FUCK.” Is what I said while sitting in my son’s crib tonight reading to him.
Dan came in and out of the room for various reasons no fewer than eight times and this was right after a nightlight incident in the other kid’s room and I couldn’t take it.
I was reading Car Car Truck Jeep, which actually needs to be sung, to the tune of Baa Baa Black Sheep. If you screw up the rhythm, the song/book ends on a weird note. I challenge myself to get it right each time.
It is super distracting to have someone coming in and out of the room Kramer-style while I am trying to have a bonding moment with my son while improving my singing skills and meeting a personal goal.
Have You Any Fuel? Yes Sir, Yes Sir, Three Tanks Full
Sometimes you just can’t take it, you know? Then of course I got lectured while smoking weed in the basement afterwards about how I really need to set an example for our children.
I know he’s right, I really shouldn’t (excessively) swear in front of the kids. And I definitely shouldn’t have outbursts.
But you know what? These moments have been SO reduced from what they used to be. I used to really feel ragey and out of control and like there was something wrong with me.
But now I’ve just sort of dropped all the guilt. I just feel like a human being who once in a BLUE MOON (wish I had a Blue Moon right now) loses it.
#zoloft #weed #blessed #thankyoujesus