No Weed, Day 59

Looking Forward to Smoking Again

It’s funny to think if I took a drug test now I would pass it. Ha.

Dan has been mostly smoking out of a vape pen, which I don’t mind being around and enjoy the smell. It’s slightly different and less potent than weed weed.

Although I went into the basement last night when he was smoking a blunt and I felt nostalgic. I – shocker, here – can’t wait smoke again when the pregnancy is over.

One of the First Times After Last Time

I smoked the day I came home from the hospital after having my first baby, but I don’t really remember it being that epic. I do recall when I smoked a lot and got really, really high for the first time after giving birth.

It’s sort of like the difference between the actual first time you smoke, versus the first time you feel like you legitimately got high.

I was feeling restless at home on maternity leave, more or less stuck with the baby. The weather was not conducive to going out to a park or taking walks. I decided to visit my friend Mary who lived a couple hours away (she’s actually the person I last smoked with before taking this hiatus).

While at Mary’s we smoked a blunt, and I got so unbelievably stoned and paranoid. I felt like such a newbie. I kept running out of the room we were in to check on the baby, who was sleeping, convinced he was kidnapped or dead. When her husband and kid came home I was barely able to make conversation.

It’s funny when you actually smoke too much. Cause there is such a thing. You’re going up a hill, you love the hill, you feel better the higher you climb, and then you reach the top and start going downhill.

Also that day: Mary’s daughter looked at my still pudgy stomach and asked if I was having another baby. Heh.

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