Well, the nausea phase of pregnancy has passed. For a few weeks, I was going through a difficult time with my toddler, but that has passed – for now – as well. My husband has been a big help with this. I don’t call him Dan the Man for nothing.
So now with the sickness gone and the stress significantly reduced I am thinking about actually quitting smoking weed. I have to do it at some point. I’ve already cut back significantly. I think we’re almost at the time.
I have a friend staying overnight here next week when Dan will be gone so we’ll have something of a girls night and I’m thinking of making that my last time for the foreseeable future.
It’s funny, I started this site in the hopes of connecting to other moms, or even just other adults, who like me smoked multiple times a day every day.
Smoking had become so ingrained in who I was when I would think about new projects to dive into or new topics to write about pot almost wouldn’t come up. It was there, but always in the background.
But why? A lot of us do it, even if we don’t talk about it, and with legalization spreading there’s a clear movement towards transparency, towards talking about it more openly. Maybe one day joints will get passed around at work parties as freely as Blue Moons are served at the open bar.
On the other end of the spectrum. I’ve read a lot of addiction memoirs and listened to podcasts. Addiction recovery, like weed, is also transitioning into a more open, talked about environment. So many people have embraced who they truly are, written about it, made their life about it, and they’ve become more happy and successful because of it.
That’s why I want to do. I’m not an addict. I did do a little too much coke when I was younger but I never quite fell off the cliff, and at this point I am a long ways away from that. I enjoy beer, a lot, but quitting drinking for the pregnancy hasn’t been any problem.
But when I say that’s what I want to do, what I mean is, I want to embrace myself and who I really am, and I know now what I knew at 18 – that I am stoner.
At the same time, I need to be healthy for me and my baby. Even if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d like to be working towards cutting back and developing a more healthy relationship with weed where I’m not so dependent on it all the time.
I started this blog to make connections to other stoners and other moms, but I’ve just barely gotten started here and I already I’m talking about (temporarily) quitting.
But that’s okay. I am who I am. I gotta do what I gotta do.
When I do take the leap I will probably write more often as an accountability thing, checking in, sorting out my feelings, and slowly feeling out any issues that may arise.
Which is much like what I do when I’m stoned: Slow down. Work through problems one at a time.
Even if I’m on a stoner sabbatical I’ll still have a stoner state of mind.