Are You Ever Really Out of Weed?

I remember a comedian once saying he got arrested for half a gram of weed. “I don’t know about you, but when I have half a gram of weed, I consider myself to be out of weed.”

It’s a funny thing when you consider yourself to be out of pot, even if you still have a little, and at the same time, you’re never REALLY out of pot, you know?

I myself once got arrested for half a gram of weed. Actually, I think it was even less than that. I’d initially had another charge against me which prompted them to search my car. Where my bowl was, along with remnants of weed. Apparently enough to charge me for a misdemeanor, although now it would be a ticket, I believe.

What was funny, was that I had an eighth in my purse they never found. It was in the inside zippered pocket. What is it with men and purses? These simple handbags just makes them so uncomfortable. Why? The possibility of tampons being in there? Is that seriously it?

I’ve even handed my purse to my own husband when he asked for something out of it (weed? haha), and he’s just handed it back to me, face full of confusion.

Another time, when I was 16, a bunch of friends and I got caught with alcohol in the woods. I hadn’t yet smoked weed at 16, although if I had, I would have gotten away with it that night.

“Is there any pot in your purse?”

“What? No!”

And he believed me. Or at least, he didn’t want to search my purse.

Anyway. Whenever you “run out of weed” there’s always a tiny bit left in the grinder, or as a last resort you could scrape the bowl for resin. Or, there’s a hidden bag you put away at some point for just this sort of occasion.

A couple years ago, my husband and I went out for our anniversary while my parents babysat. Upon coming home, we had no weed to smoke, and I thought that sucked a lot.

Upon cleaning a few weeks later, I found not one, not two, but three hidden weed bags around the apartment. Three. We could have smoked that night after all.

I haven’t actually hid a small bag of weed in a long time, possibly since then. Perhaps I should go do that since we just picked up.

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